Here at the MIW we treat our customers as friends. All our friends recognise the sanctity of the Chair. The Chair is usually as amenable as every other asshole of similar size, stage and demeanour as can be found on any beach in the Caribbean.

Unfortunately the Chair is unusually sensitive to phone conversations – other peoples’ phone conversations. Regrettably based on situation that makes us unable to remove said Chair we recommend (highly) that you

• Take those personal phone calls out of earshot of the Chair

• When leaving your phone on the (makeshift) shelf provided to
  friends its probably best to turn it off or have it set to Mute. Unless its waterproof.

The reasons for this admittedly lie at the feet of the Chair not directly with the true owners of the enterprise. But… life happens.